To be kind is to be invincible
It's a foolproof rule in the hospitality industry that can be applied to the vast majority of social situations. I learned it in the silliest way, but at the exact moment it was most useful to me. Imagine the scene. It's a little after four in the afternoon, the second lunch seating on a long weekend.
The customer in question had waited longer than reasonable to sit down at the table, we had run out of two dishes from the menu and he had taken a little longer to go to the cellar to get the bottle he had fancied, one of those trendy sparkling wines with inspirational phrases written on the cork.
The man had reason to be angry, but he was becoming downright unpleasant, to the point of attracting the attention of neighboring tables. I endured the outburst as best I could, glancing sideways at other customers who had waited just as long, if not longer, and were demanding my attention. As I removed the helmet from the bottle, I read what would henceforth be my motto as a waiter: 'To be kind is to be invincible'.
I managed a genuine smile—inspired not so much by the need to please the hothead but by the whims of the situation—and poured the wine. From that moment on, his table companions, who until then had watched the reprimand with gestures of approval, changed sides and began to chide the gentleman and apologize for the outburst.
They enjoyed the meal, had dessert and coffee—on the house due to the inconvenience—and left the restaurant shaking my hand, even the grumpy one, and leaving a generous tip. I saw them a few more times, and I can even say that we gained some customers that day. A resounding victory.
The great thing about this maxim is that it works both ways. Another day, if you'd like, we can talk in more detail about rude waiters who treat customers with disrespect. In those cases, a broad smile and a kind word can make the other person, if only by contrast, realize their unpleasant manner and correct their attitude. "More is more with honey than with vinegar," my grandmother, a hotelier since birth, used to say. She had the good habit of always getting her way.
